Have I seriously not blogged this year yet?! How did that happen?!
I have so much to say that I think putting it down here would disservice you all! Ha!
I attended a conference that has left me with ‘bubbles’ within my soul. I’m ready to write but this one is for me. (Just a disclaimer to you who is reading this: It won’t make any sense.)
I’m writing down my employment history. It’s a piece I might expand on later and I am just struck by how I seem to fit so suitably into the category of ‘millennial’ with a scant and pathetic career journey.
1997 – The summer of my freshman year in college. After the semester had ended, I moved out of the dorms for the summer to live at home, get my first summer job and live in my new found adulthood with my new college friends. I decided that I wanted to work at the little day care around the corner from my subdivision because I could ride my bike there. (I wasn’t fond of driving at that time!) I walked in, met the owners and was hired on the spot for the summer school kids program. I think that was one experience that led me to think that getting a job was as simple as applying. I worked that summer and the next at Teddy Bear Day Care.
1998- 2001 - I decided to transfer to the Hartt School of Music to study with Bert Lucarelli. Throughout these years, I held a Saturday student position as an orchestra manager for a youth orchestra, and got gigs on oboe and piano through the student gig-line. Gigging was fun and good money, but not regular work as the gigs were distributed evenly amongst the students. I began to secure the most gigs as a ‘background piano’ for rich people parties. I would get paid $300 to sit and play for 2 hours and they would feed me really good food. In my senior year, I decided extra cash would be helpful and walked into a pub and was hired on the spot. As a server, I would make $250 a weekend. Each of the things I did was so much fun and it made me excited that once I earned my degree that the world would be my oyster! If this was the money I was making now – whoopie!!! Just wait!
2001 – I graduated from Hartt School. I had attended on a full-ride and each year I did take out student loans for books, supplies and living expenses. I moved to California and began my job hunt so I could begin to pay off my debt.
Nothing.
I actually had too much education for some places and not enough to even apply for other places. A sign advertised the position for choral accompanist, I called the number, was called back, auditioned and hired on the spot. I took a job for $12 no benefits. Another great job, and I and the director knew it was not a job that I could live on. Within a few months, I paid for a credential, TB test, fingerprinting so that I could begin to teach. Through the grapevine I learned of a H.S. Instrumental position in Garden Grove. I went to meet with the Director of Fine Arts from the district and he took me right over to the school, we met the principal, the principal took me right into the band room. I watched for a few minutes, I worked with them for a few minutes and was offered the job on the spot. Since I was operating on an emergency credential, I was hired as a long-term sub and offered retro-active pay upon completing my full credential. I liked the kids but the parents were wackos. I received a call the morning of my wedding (December 29th 2001 – also Christmas Break!) informing me of a flood and wondering what I wanted done with my string basses and tubas?!?! Lucas and I decided that this was not how we wanted to start our new life together, me working like a mad hound doing exactly what I watched my father do for my entire life…We realized that I would have to go back to school no matter what to secure the kind of job I wanted. Long-term subbing was nice because I could really work and also have the freedom to choose at the end of each year what I wanted to do the next fall.
2002 – 2003 I began my Master’s Degree at CSULB with Carolyn Hove and began working at Valencia High School as the Long-Term Sub for the choral director. It was a fun time and that relationship did not end upon the return of the instructor – I continued to come in many times each year to accompany them for performances, competitions and tours. At this time, I also began teaching a few children piano here and there for extra income.
2003 – 2004 CSULB hired me on as the adjunct Instructor for Double Reeds Methods and Music History G.A. I had my own private corner office. I continued to take oboe and piano gigs and teach privately. I also accepted the position of Director of Christian Education at St. Andrew’s Church in Fullerton, CA.
2004 – 2005 My final year of my M.M. program. Tuition increased and my once full-ride scholarship was frozen. I was offered only 1 class that year and moved to an office that I shared with 6 others. I was also back at Valencia High School for the year as the instructor was on a year maternity leave. It was an incredible year, but hard. It confirmed that public education as career was probably not what I wanted and now I wanted to have a baby of my own! My husband had stable employment and we decided we were ready to begin our family. I did not secure a teaching position for the fall of 2005. I began to rent a studio in Fullerton and stopped traveling to homes or teaching out of my own home. I also continued my work at St. Andrew’s.
When our first pregnancy resulted in a loss, it was uncertain if we would be able to conceive again. At the time of grief, I could not cope with the idea of full-time employment so the notion of using my credential to be a substitute was appealing. Within a few weeks, I had secured several music contacts and made a dear friend in a special education teacher at a very poor school. That December, we became pregnant with our daughter and I subbed when I felt like it or was requested, taught privately and worked at church.
2006 – 2008 Many surprises occurred in my stint as a pregnant sub. I spent many weeks with a junior high band whose teacher had a motorcycle accident. That summer, I was a writing instructor at the very poor elementary for a grant-subsidized summer school program. That fall, grossly pregnant, I started another junior high program for the first 3 weeks of school while all of the issues with getting the hired instructor into the classroom were sorted out. I had my daughter in October and vowed never to enter a public classroom as an instructor again! I began to take more private students and was able to make the same amount of money in half the amount of time. This allowed me to stay at home with my infant during the day and my husband could watch her in the evenings while I taught.
2008 – present: The position at All Saints Church was initially full-time. It was divided in half and it was still more than I was making at my other church and it was a big exciting parish! As the idea of 2 distinct jobs began to emerge, I really thought it would be doable. I left St. Andrew’s and also decided to stop taking gigs. I broke my studio in half. I was able to make my personal business exactly what I wanted to: I kept only the students I wanted. I also reframed my hours and my studio parameters. For over a year now, I have been booked solid with a waiting list.
2011 – After 2 ½ years of this 2-job existence I find myself exhausted. My only desire is to have one job. I want one job with a livable wage, and maybe even benefits. I want one job that is not a 90-mile round trip to get to. I am trying to begin to try-on what that could look like. I have applied at many different places in many different fields where I have ability and experience. I have had many interviews and I have not been offered anything yet. All of the teaching positions I used to work in have been eliminated from the school systems. Even to begin subbing again – the competition is so fierce with all of the educators that have been laid off in the past 2 years.
I am done being embarrassed about it. It is what it is. I really wouldn’t trade much of anything – even the pain, because the amazing students and opportunities were amazing. I have taught all ages now in formal educational settings; infants through the elderly. I have taught & conducted bands, choirs, orchestras, drum corps, color guards, jazz band, show choir, vocal jazz, musicals, history and taught educational pedagogy. I have built relationships with people that I still am in relationship with. If that’s truly the most rich a person can be then I’m a billionaire – and I continue to grapple with the feeling…the truth:
I started looking for a career and now all I want is a paycheck.
