My favorite thing to write about are the cute things kids say...
Today, I will account for 2 of my own personal utterances to a student.
It all started when she switched to oboe. (That's my way of saying it's not ALL my fault!)
Oboe is a tricky instrument to master and even trickier to teach.
Perhaps that is why I rarely take an oboe student.
The oboe is near and dear to my heart.
And it is obnoxious.
A few facts:
-A good reed lasts (at best) 13 playing hours and that is only if it doesn't crack before then.
-I do not provide my students with reeds...I will adjust them and teach reed making but selling reeds does not factor well into wanting to have a life outside of 'work' hours.
-Store bought reeds currently retail $18-$35 dollars.
-Much of the time in a lesson can be spent just on reeds - never getting to the playing aspect of the instrument.
So you do the math...the oboe is a financial vacuum and very few who initially approach the instrument are prepared for all that is involved.
Imagine my reaction when she showed up on my door step (after 5 years of studying clarinet & piano with me) with an oboe.
She is a natural.
So, thus began our journey into double-reed land and it has been a very fun and fulfilling experience.
A few more facts:
Oboe is odd in that all of the supplies needed for maintenance have additional uses.
An example of some of my favorite supplies includes:
Cigarette Papers - preferably un-gumed - Best way to help sticky & water filled pads
Single Edge Razor Blades - For clipping the tip of a reed
Shot Glasses - For soaking reeds.
Buying oboe cane...well, the last order I phoned in sounded something like this:
"Hi there. I heard you had the good stuff. I'll take a pound...pause....You only have a quarter pound left? I'll take it. I do hope it is not like the last batch...a little too mushy for my taste.")
Hopefully the aforementioned provides you enough knowledge to set the scene for me teaching female student, who is now 15.
A few weeks back, as the lesson was ending and the next student was entering, I did notice a strange look on both mother's faces as I said:
"Oh darn...I forgot the vodka in the car. I'll get it to you next week,"
(Vodka is a great antiseptic and I swear it helps reeds last longer! I had an ounce in a Tupperware shot glass for her to dip her reeds in.)
However, it was our last lesson that I spoke the worst speak in a private lesson EVER.
Her reed was o.k. and we were struggling to improve her embouchure. One note in particular kept 'cracking' each time she played it. We worked and worked, remolding her lips into a place where the note (sol) would come out beautifully.
She finally did it and I excitedly shouted:
"You did it! You found your G-spot!"
Um, yeah.
In the (what seemed like an eternity) mili-seconds after my mind raced:
Maybe she doesn't know what that is? Yeah right! It's on every Cosmo cover every month and she had health last year...I didn't know what a G-spot was when I was 15 though...
It only took our eyes meeting for me to confirm she totally knew.
Me: "Can we pretend like that just never ever happened?"
She: Laughing to the point of tears.
Sigh.
It made me recall the time about 9 years back in a a High School tenor sectional when the young lads were plowing through the rests of the piece they were working on. I was trying to emphasize that rests were beats but instead spoke: "Breasts are reats."
That one I was actually saved by the bell and the young gentelmen laughed all the way out of the classroom.
